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10-14-2008, 10:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Draven
These were the extent of the suggestions i was going to make, barely much at all:
behing that tree - made a typo on behind
fell victim should be - Fall victim
insain - spelled insane
my tears never stopped to flood - sort of doesn't convey a proper meaning, perhaps you would like to replace with, my tears never stopped their flood?
Excellent poem, however tragic.
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Thank you Draven xD I didnt even notice that behing thing :P And thank you for everything else =)
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I am no prey..
[color="White"]I am the predator..
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10-14-2008, 10:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaweems
quite sad and well written. I write alot so i know how it feels when you start writing something like this. its as though your mind and sould form a distinct connection with the character. its as though you feel every bit of it.
Well at least for me.
and even so, reading gave quite a strong connection as well, which shows you did a good job of writing it.
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Well it was kinda weird when I wrote it.. It was like I didnt really know what I was writing intill I was done and read it through.. I got really shocked xD But every time I read it I wish I could save the girl... ):
AND THANK YOU! 
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10-14-2008, 08:40 PM
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That is really great as well. Very touching, showing how people play with one until he is broken. Thanks for this nice poem and pls. go on this way. Would to read some more.
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My own is a free spirit. Noone and nothing can put it behind barrs, walls or in chains. It will force its way, breaking the limitations, but will be also present with kindness and wisdom
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10-17-2008, 02:55 PM
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Thank you Wabun Wind  I will try to write some more when I have the time 
__________________
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10-27-2008, 01:37 AM
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Yaa sure everybody! Just look and dont say anything...
-SITS IN CORNER AND CRIES-
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[color="White"]I am the predator..
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11-09-2008, 12:43 AM
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Haha dont cry. 
I thought this was a very scary poem. And well written 
Keep on writing!
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