I need answers and I know that I have to find out a lot myself, but I need help in this, it dosent make sense to me at all!

Okay, in 5th grade, I got stress, not going into why, dont wanna think about it anymore. At that time, I got weak, like really weak, always sick, not ever feeling well with people around, they were so stressing. So I was home schooled half of sixth grade. When I later started in school again, I wasn't really there, almost like some kind of zombie in a movie, just walking around, blocking everyone out, only when I was with a few close friends, I let go on myself, I felt that I could handle their emotions, because I knew them.

Its bin like that since then, Im not asocial, at least I dont think so, Im just very emphatic and I have a theory that I feed on my friends emotions, not on purpose, I just cant keep the shell up for them, like I cant get it down for others. Just this morning, I suddenly had a urge to play Flyff and thats weird, cause I never played it before, never wanted to play it before, actually I think it looks boring, but one of my friends was in the room and he loves Flyff. It didnt take more than minutes before he got up and started playing.

When Im not with friends, Im still very zombie'ish and just eating a lot and then getting sick bacause of it, like Im never full, Im also never hungry, just tired and energy lacking..

I also had a weird experience with a cat this morning, I just lay still and petted her and suddenly my hand started tingling and she jerked away from me, not like she got a chock more like 'this do not feel nice, get it of me'-ish.

Anoher thing is my dream, I had it a while ago, I didnt know anything about vampires back then, and it was crazy. First I just got chased around the school of a bunch of spiders and argued with a fat man if he should make my bathrobe into a couch. Later in the dream, there was this person, all I remember was that he/she had brown hair, and sucked my energy by touching me. That reminds me, when I was small, I had a dream where he/she got eaten by a troll, that time he/she was my friend..

Of cause I had other signs, but I think those are the most interesting. By the way, I talked to someone a while ago, who thought that I was a vampire, but I would like others opinion on it too..

If you read this long without throwing your shoe after somebody, you deserve a medal - sorry for my bad writing x[

many would say vampire out of the gate and they would and would not be right....yes the lack of energy is one of the symptomes....but only after a vampire drinks blood and tries to quit (i had a black magus tell me this so back off) as for the energy taking: i can do that pretty easily, in fact i give energy to my teapot to heat it up quicker...its a type of training for magik users but anyway...your only using the first half of the skill and now your body is used to the overflowing energy you take from people...unlike others your mental sheilds where permatly lowered which is why i think that your expelling energy without knowing about it...try keeping that "shell" up at all times and see how you feel after your body chills from the overwhelming energy take in.

my regards to your troubles
Alucard.

__________________
take my hand and walk with me into the flames of hell.
come with me into damnation where no soul may rest.
come to my home and live with me for eternity.

Thanks for the answer.

I will try to practice my shield then and just watch where that goes. But its hard to get out of old habits, so if anyones have some advice on shielding, I would be happy to hear it.

well you could try this...close your eyes and empty your head of all thoughts for the maxinum amount of concentration....now around your skull...forehead and up its going to feel like a wall is going around it and is acually a physical thing that is moving the skin away to make room...no pain just a strange sensation...try that and keep it up and let me know how things go

__________________
take my hand and walk with me into the flames of hell.
come with me into damnation where no soul may rest.
come to my home and live with me for eternity.

Thanks! That did feel really weird, but in a good way, I think. I'm gonna keep trying, just not sure how much I'll get out of it right now. Its almost 30 grades (celcius) here, and I'm really sensitive to the warmth, so I have no concentration at all right now .__.

__________________

My Meaning.
My Purpose.
My Desire.
My Wife.

Uhm, the thing that really makes me feel safe, well ... its really bad for me to think about if, so if I use a thing thats not that safe for me, but the closest I can get, would it work okay, you think?

__________________

My Meaning.
My Purpose.
My Desire.
My Wife.

iv been trying to do it but not much happens

__________________

Okay, but thanks anyway, Im gonna try it out xD