I’ve heard that most vampyres tend to “vamp out” when they’re unable to feed. This seems especially true for sanguinarian vampyres like me. Personally, I’ve never experienced this. I’m not sure if it’s simply because I’ve never fed consistently enough to break my pre-awakened instincts of unconscious psi feeding (which by the way, have never sustained me well), or if there are a rare few who never vamp out, but instead slowly deteriorate, as I’ve been.

At the moment I write this, it’s been nearly a year since I was last able to feed properly. I’ve occasionally been able to get bits of psi energy from people, and I’ve developed a way to maintain moderate energy levels with crystal magick and meditation, but none of those make me as strong and as well as I used to be, and the effects only last a few days at most, and sometimes as little as a few hours.

I’ve been noticing myself slowly deteriorating, my energy levels slowly dropping, and my former talents being stripped from me one by one. I’m only now learning how much I use my spirit in everyday life. It sometimes seems like people are speaking to me in riddles; for when I was strong I could know what people meant by what they were about to say, whereas now I’m unable to read people well enough to understand direct statements. I used to be able to tell how others felt, no matter how hard they tried to hide it, now I can barely tell what I’m feeling. My presence used to be strong enough that others would notice me if I walked through the mall, most taking a good look at me as I passed, now I can’t even get the normally bothersome salespeople to acknowledge me, even if I try to project my energy. I’m even having trouble remembering important things that close friends confide in me; it seems that I used to use a sort of psychic pneumonic to help form new memories.

My energy levels have declined as well. In fact, the only way I have enough motivation to write this is because I was able to get a bit of psi energy the other day. Although such encounters don’t make me strong, they only lessen my awareness of being weak, and for a very short time at that (FYI the last time I tasted blood, it sustained me for several weeks). When I’m at optimum health, I normally only need 5 to 7 hours of sleep, and get up feeling awake and refreshed; whereas recently I’ve been unable to get out of bed before 9 hours of sleep, and frequently seem to need 11 or 12. And even with this much sleep I’m still tired throughout the day. I seem to lack the willpower and motivation to do even simple tasks, even the ones that are important. And this last loss is a large part of what makes this a vicious cycle, as I don’t even seem to have the willpower to get myself to look for a donor. I do have some friends I’ve been asking, but they live just far enough that getting together with them is a major hassle, so it hasn’t yet panned out, though I hope it soon will.

It should be noted that I often had similar experiences before I awakened, which confirms for me that it is in fact feeding, or lack thereof that causes me to feel this way. I didn’t like it when I felt this way years ago, but it’s even worse now, as it’s accompanied by a memory of the things I had that are now lost.

I share my experiences in the hopes that some of you out there can relate. I’d imagine that there are many vampyres out there who don’t experience the typical symptoms of non-feeding, and I knew that it definitely caused some confusion for me as I was awakening. It definitely causes troubles in my daily life today, but I hope maybe in sharing this, it will help those like me (if there are any) to know that they’re not alone.


(By the way, the combination of meditation and crystal magick actually works pretty well [though there are some setbacks]

What kind of setbacks do you refer to?

You havent eaten in that long? How strange that you wouldn't. Of course I do know what you mean, but I dont Vamp-out. I just feel weaker, more open for those who know what I am to come closer.
Though its harder to find food when that food does not come to you, or willing offer itself to you. Of course for me, to take blood from one who offers is better then forcing no?

I would love to talk more about this.

I haven't had the chance to feed since Christmas Eve. But I am beginning to think that I am a hybrid, because I can go some time without feeding before I really need it and it starts affecting me. The longest was about 6 months. It seems the more often you have it, the more often you need it in my opinion. Because I'm starting to feel the need again.

Usually when I Vamp-Out, I start shaking and can't it still. I just think about blood, and its a little crazy. I feel weak and powerless.

But when I'm just not feeding, I tend to sleep a lot and be even more colder than usual. I lose my appetite and don't feel like doing anything at all.

I have went for 5 years with out feeding once.

I am now almost up to 4 years with out feeding again.

It's horrible torture...

And i end up hurting myself constantly, in an attempt to curb my cravings, and freaking out.

To Starve, Is To Go Insane.........

Then why don't you try to find someone to feed off of. And 5 years is a long time I could never do that, 6 months I could handle. And if you feel like you are hurting yourself by doing this than stop doing it, and try to feed more often it might help you.

Wow lady lefay! I have been without for four! I would get drops here and there from my fiance when he would cut himself sharpening swords, but that was I think three years ago.
It really is torture. Auto-vamping doesn't sound so bad anymore when you are that starved. I have scars all over my neck where I would rip myself open and drink my own. I feel so stupid for it, but you can't help it when youare in that state..

Hopefully you get your chance to feed soon lefay, it's sad to hear that you are still going through so many breaks without being able to find a source.

Hey all.... I have not fed in a couple of years eather.... I can handle it for awahile but recently i get very thirsty when the sky is clear at night and it is warm but windy.... I almost drank from one of my freinds tonight when we got together but i have been straining not to.
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The blood sits in a vial beckoning us to it, try to resist it but our senses will over come us.

in reply to not feeding for long periods of time. In 1867 we had been immortal for over 500 years, the thought of eternity was driving us completely insane. so we found a tomb in this cemetary that we visited often, went in barracaded the door and stayed there. we were hoping that as time went on we would die from starvation, we didnt feed on blood or energy. After a few months we[/color] started to feel weak and our energy was very low but it wasnt till about 1 year when the thirst started to physically hurt us. we got past the pain through meditation and thoughts of elisa (name changed for her protection) After 5 years we really had no thoughts no feelings we were just there. 30 years past by when all of a sudden the rush of lustful energy hit us like a tidal wave. we had to get out, we had to feel that again. so we searched out with our mind drawing power from anything and everything mostly that lust. when we were strong enough we broke through the door and there on the grass next to our tomb was a beautiful couple making the most energetic and passionate love we have ever seen before. First we feed on the lady the blood for doppleganger then the man, we used his fear to feed morpheus "yes, how i need that energy". fear brings out the most euphoric of energy. that was the most satisfing feast ever. after about 28 feedings we were at our full stength but it was different stronger more powerful. we also gained some new tricks. that is it we will never starve again.

I try to feed at least once a year