It seems like the more i learn about myself the even more i am confused?

So i have learned that this "Entity" that follows and watches over me is my protector.

Protecting me for a very long time now, life after life.

And every time he says he fails protecting me from this other aspect of myself, that wants to "merge" with me. i guess that every time in past lives it eventually merges with me and very horrible things happen??

He says he fails because he becomes involved with me and develops feelings.

Which explains a lot because my whole life i have always felt that i was being watched, followed, wanted but never knowing why or what it is or was that is there always watching.

It’s getting very difficult to resist this "other half" of me, it longs for me.

It calls....

Now the other half of what is going on, this "Other Entity" that feels he has to protect me says he has never incarnated on this plain before, you know he incarnates on other plains. But He has come to enjoy our world and very much wishes to experience our world in his own body rather than use my friends.

He says he cares for me greatly after a very long time of watching over me, i like to call him my phantom stranger.

He cares so much so that he jumps in my friends body when he is fucking me, and takes over,(and trust me i can tell the difference) and fucks the shit out of me...

He says that he wants to get me pregnant so that he can incarnate on this plain, that he wants me to be his mother (Yes i know fucking weird).

The problem is that my friend is steral he can’t have kids at least he has never gotten a woman pregnant ever, and i get pregnant real easy i mean REAL easy, and he has never gotten me pregnant.

So you can see the problem with his plain??

Right now i am just stagnant. I am fighting off this other part of me, and it’s getting to hard.

It’s invading my dreams, it’s making me want to so badly. but i feel it’s darkness, i feel it making me want to do things i know are wrong and evil??? BUT WHAT TO DO?????

I know i can’t fight this forever, i’m already getting weaker, i am to the point now where i am curious, and i know that is bad, just having it in my mind all the time is bad.

My Phantom Stranger has not been around for a while now and we don’t know why??

I’m getting scared...

I am thinking of doing a ritual, and calling apon this other aspect and seeing if i can talk with it???

But i don’t know if that is a wise thing to do either??

I need help!!!!

I will beg of thee not to do any rituals. Please, if your good phantom is there to protect you then it may have decided that it is better to protect you then show himself any longer. To do a ritual, to call upon spirts, is a very hard ritual to control. U may not know who or what could come about. This other self may show him self but yet make you think that it is your good phantom.
If the good half wants you to know that he is still around he will tell you. The best idea is to meditate. Try that before you try any thing else.

Thank you for replying.

I have been trying to meditate but it hasn't helped me, at least not yet.

I know it is tricky and hard, but i wont be doing it alone, and i really don't know what else to do, but find out it's intentions.

My dear friend, another way to find out is poss to look into your dreams. Some times messages will come to us in that way. Lay down before bed. Think of your self in a bubble. This bubble is a protetive sheild. Put your energy into this sheild. With in this bubble will be your safe spot. There for think of the safest place you know of or at least one of your happiest memo.
Once you feel safe enough. The next thing to do is think up a house or building. Go to a room in this place. Look out of the window. With this window you must tell your self that nothing can get in threw that closed window. Nor can nothing get out.
Now, ask to speak to who or what ever it is that you are trying to speak to. Keep doing this, if you can, till you fall a sleep. Good poss that you will find some kind of an answer. Hope this helps and keep up with the meditation.

Thank you i'll try that...

Keep you posted.

I don't talk to my other entity unless, I am plotting something evil or destructive. other than that, he is binded up in chains, collecting angry thoughts.